In all seriousness, all humor set aside, thinking that this is the future of America....this almost made me totally lose it.

Honestly. I am thinking about sending that link too all of my guy friends in an email, threatening them with castration if they don't stop being perverts. Castration. It's like their kryptonite. Especially if I threaten it to be done with a SPOON.

*full body shiver*

I'd hire someone to do it FOR me, of course. I wouldn't dare venture to my friends' nether regions ALONE, mind you.

How did I get started talking about my friends' nether regions anyway? Forget I mentioned it. Ergh.

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So. I am now officially on Spring Break. Not that I actually have a break, though. I still have this crazed attorney over my shoulder, whispering things in my ear, like: "Get off the internet and go study up on the mock trial case" or "You really suck at mock trial and the team from Wyoming could totally kick your ass right now, so you'd better go to practice" or "I have a vat of boiling maggots and acid that I am hanging over your head right now, and if you don't get off your fat lazy ass and go study for mock trial you better believe I'm going to go medieval on you with that bucket".

Actually, our attorney-coach is quite sane. "I don't care if we win or lose, as long as we come in first," he says. "WIN WIN WIN or you'll never amount to anything!" Apparently only sane enough to pass the bar exam and then make six teengers' lives a living hell for ten months straight.

As soon as I was released from school yesterday, the whole team had to meet downtown at the school board office for the weekly meeting. We were supposed to be recognized, or something. I don't know.

But, you see...even though my school prides itself in being too intellectual for such tricial things as football, we still have intramural teams. And for an hour and a half before the schoolboard meeting, which was also being televised mind you, I had sat outside in wind gusts up to 75 MPH and my hair looked like...well, shit, to say the least.

Maybe you think I'm lying. "A lot of people find that wind-blown-hair things really attractive!"

NO. THEY DON'T WHEN IT'S MY HAIR.

Because unlike a normal person, when my hair is subjected to the wind, it flies around my head, sometimes extending to a radius of three feet. And after that, it's hopeless to try to get it to lie flat. It's poofy and there's no turning back.

So I had to go on TV yesterday with Giant Hair. I was not happy. Not one bit.

Speaking of not being happy, not one bit, we are being forced by our semi-sane attorney-coach to drive two hours to Covington for a practice trial against the Mississippi mock trial team. Apparently it's okay for us to drive two hours only to then be subject to three and a half hours of sheer hell, and them only have to endure one hour of it. They are from Hattiesburg and we are from New Orleans and we are meeting in Convington?? What are they driving, mopeds?

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I just sneezed out of my mouth.

Is that normal???

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!