But lately my dad has been logging onto AIM at his office. And he also has finagled his way to my profile and saw it was me, and now he wants to talk to me every day after school, since he sees that I get on every day.

I would block him in New York second, but even though he's an asshole, he's my dad. I can't just block him. Not only would he be pissed but it would probably make him more determined than ever to talk to me.

But....

Every now and then he has his amusing streaks. Like today. He's telling me about how his car caught on fire yesterday.

He has this crappy little Mazda 323 that is more than likely prehistoric, and resembles a crackerbox. Or something else that is...and this is a technical term here....ugly as shit.

Dad: Did I tell you - I set my car on FIRE! And, of course, the little kids were outside - "Daddy, look! The little car's on fire!!"

Theaterfreak13: what?!

Dad: So I was trying to be calm, saying things like "Daddy's go to get his fire extinguisher out of the trunk now!" While 18 inch flames were shooting out of the engine and the kids were making their own commentary. I was rubbing this stuff on the engine when I thought, "Hey, this stuff is probably petroleum based, and if there's a spark, then--" and that's when it caught fire.

Theaterfreak13: you've got to be kidding!

Dad: No! So I pulled out the fire extinguisher and sprayed the gooey white stuff all over the engine. And then--the next day when I dropped Rachael off at school smoke started coming out of the hood. I decided I'd better check it out, to see if I'd have to do "my little trick" at school to stave off the pending explosion, but it wasn't on fire. You see, it's not just a Mazda, it's an adventure.

Theaterfreak13: you could just get a rental car until you can buy a new one.

Dad: Rental car, my *&^#%.

Theaterfreak13: i can't wait until i get my own car next year.

Dad: Want a fire-proof Mazda?

And that's that. That's the saga of my dad and his Shit-Car.

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!