All I did special for closing was draw pictures for everybody in the cast. Like my mother, holding a bottle of bourbon, and a speech bubble that says, "HICCUP." And the really creepy guy that plays her boyfriend I drew looking up her skirt and saying, "OOOH, PANTIES."

Stupid shit like that.

Kevin, my best friend's boyfriend, was also in the show. He plays this crazy woman's lawyer. Now, everybody in this cast execpt for two people I have known for a very long time, including Kevin. So there's this line where he talks about someone being an "SOB." I've been begging him since opening night to please suck it up and just say "son of a bitch."

And he's onstage, talking to my mother, and he starts to say, "Son of a--" and my mother gets this wide-eyed trying-not-to-laugh look and Kevin is afraid she'll lose it, so he just says, "Son of a--SOB."

Needless to say, I was angry. So I drew a big picture of him and a speech bubble that says, "SON OF A BITCH."

And they had to load up all the really big set pieces into trailers last night, and so Jessica and I spent about an hour just sitting in the green room and waiting to Kevin to just fucking finish already, so we could just bring him home.

A. WHOLE. HOUR.

And when we finally leave, he drives at 90 mph in all these back roads in Bum Fuck Egypt making a round-city trip about ten minutes with no traffic. All the while I'm curled up in the backseat hoping and praying frantically that he won't hit something and cause me to fly through the windshield, since I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. There was all the world's shit in his car and honestly, I couldn't find the buckle.

But all in all, once I got back to Jessica's apartment, we had fun. Loaded up on junk food, watching "South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut" at 2 AM, at which point her neighbors walk in and want to spend an hour chatting about the new cat they adopted and this way cool new skateboard that they just bought.

I'm just sitting in the corner in a bean bag, passed out.

---------------------------------------------

I have to rant about something. This may just be the Imposter Penicillin talking, but hey. Just keep telling yourself, "Shits and giggles. Shits and giggles."

So Kevin and Jessica are currently dating. But you must understand, they are ten years apart (Jess is 22 and Kevin is 32) and they are literally the epitome of a love/hate relationship. They've broken up and gotten back together about ten times. And this has been going on for about three years.

This is how it works.

They starts dating. Kevin gets to be really controlling. Jess dubs him an "asshole" but is afraid to break up. They continue being together but argue at the drop of a hat over Every. Single. Fucking. Thing. Eventually Kevin decides that he "can't handle her" and they break up. She cries. And a few weeks later, he promises to reform and they get back together.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

For instance, they got into an argument just this afternoon because Jessica wanted to have lunch with one of her old friends who is being shipped out to a post in Irag for an indefinite amount of time. Kevin says "no" because he thinks they'll get carried away and end up having hot monkey sex in a hotel room somewhere, while he sits unentertained at the cast party.

That gets resolved eventually. She doesn't go, despite that fight I put up that it shouldn't matter what he tells her. But anyway.

Then Kevin goes over to his friend Phil's apartment. Then Jess gets upset because she wanted them to ride together to the cast party. And she brings up that it's not her fault he's over at Phil's and he brings up that she wanted to go to lunch with her Army Friend and she points out that she asked his permission (SHE ASKED HIS PERMISSION?! WTF?!?!) and now they are on opposite sides of town and yet they want to ride together but Kevin wants to stay with Phil.

Argue, argue argue. Bitch bitch bitch.

I understand that Kevin is technically old enough to be my father, and he is also a good friend, but he can be a real asshole.

And Jessica is 8 years older than me but she can really overreact. But she has a medical excuse for that.

Stupid relationship bullshit. I'll never ever get married.

Argh.

Yeah, this medicine makes me just think too much.

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!