This may seem deep, profound, or otherwise moving, but it was caused only by the large doses of penicillin substitute I have been taking practically every four minutes of my waking hours.

Sitting at lunch today, I remarked how weird it was that the trees were swaying so hard that they were flying across the courtyard at break-neck speeds. That was when Sarah S. (Runs With Scissors), Genevieve, and Brooke did a double take and looked behind them like maybe, just maybe, I had described the effects of a nuclear bomb launched by Iraq hitting New Orleans and somehow we survived because the cafeteria is soo, like, a solid concrete block of protection.

Right. But that wasn't it.

I can't manage to pinpoint the nasty little bugger that's been causing me all this trouble. Since I'm taking, like, FIVE it's kind of hard to tell which one does which. And it may just be the effects of them interacting. Who knows. As long as it doesn't cause me to drop dead in the middle of the hallway at school and be trampled over by the stampede of slackers late for biology class, I don't care. Just give me the miracle pill that makes it all better.

Antibiotics combined with unbridled HATE can't be good for one, either.

I mention this because my Psycho Gay Geography Teacher (©) held our entire class hostage for 45 minutes when somebody's cell phone rag (a huge no-no) and she refused to let any of us leave until somebody turned it in. And of course, being too proud to turn himself in, the person waited until five minute before class was over to suck it up and give the scary lady the phone, for God's sake.

It wouldn't have been that bad had I been in a normal state of mind. Oh no. But today I was sitting in the back of the class, grabbing my head and tearing out my hair, cursing the one who a) gave me this heinous sickness, and b) who won't turn in the fucking phone so we can get on with life and I can take my second dose of Imposter Penicillin for the day.

Wooooo, Amen.

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Top Ten Reasons Why It Is Good To Be Sick

1. Missing tests.

2. Missing homework.

3. Not having to talk to that guy in math class who wears the "Gone in 60 Seconds" shirt every day.

4. Not having to be harassed by biology teacher in any way, shape, or form.

5. Not having to deal with all the really dumb people in French class who I can curse at without them or the teacher knowing it. ("Yes, Ms. Daspit, 'poulet' DOES mean chicken. Really. Nothing else, I swear.")

6. Not having to worry about Sarah CA-CAWING at me and then me slipping in a puddle, landing on my face, and being unable to stand upright again because of the heavy load on my back.

7. Not having to listen to Brooke talk about her boyfriend. Every. Single. Minute.

8. Catching up on lost sleep.

9. Having an excuse for doing nearly anything. ("I was hallucinating again.")

10. Being able to lie to people saying that you have Toxic Shock Syndrome, and it's almost believable.

Top Three Reasons Why It Really, Really Sucks To Be Sick

1. Having to catch up with everything in school, and it always seems to be more work when you're not there anyway.

2. Being in solitary confinement with everything sterilized within a 50-foot radius.

3. Not being able to take painkillers, because I could develope Reye's Syndrom and die. I don't know what Reye's Syndrome is, but it would be really dumb to say at your funeral that you died from taking a Tylenol. (Don't let relatives know about this, since they could easily profit from a lawsuit against Tylenol. You could very easily be in grave danger of being knocked off by your Psychotic Cousin Edgar while on the path of recovery.)

Hey, I never said it was my mission in life to be profound.

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!