Cautiously open one eye. See pint-sized cat curled up in right armpit. Stroke cat. Go back to sleep.

The cat is now moving around and running back and forth across my stomach. Throw the cat off. Go back to sleep.

The cat is back up. Now she is not only restless but pissed as well. She starts playing with the hair that has fallen off the side of the bed. She steps on the remote control, making the TV turn on, and on very high volume.

Pick up cat. Throw it out. Make sure it is a very painful procedure to ensure the cat knows not to come back to suffer the wrath of The Evil Cat Thrower-Offer.

Okay, so now I'm awake. The cat has succeeded in rousing me from the world of the unconcious. And I am very much mad. R.E.M. is good. Very good.

Bathroom. Coke. Computer.

Must be quiet because matronly unit is still asleep in the next room.

And this is how I begin my morning.

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I have a certain bone to pick with "diary reviewing" services.

Having gone to these sites for quite some time, I used to envy them.

"Woooo," I would marvel.

That was five years ago when I didn't even know HTML. Hell, I didn't even know Diaryland existed!

And now as I go back and review m Very Old Bookmarks, I see these sites that are still in operation. Here are my comments:

1) Don't rag on someone because they have the crappiest layout ever. I don't care if it's just a plain old page with black type on it. We all started out that way. Don't try to escape it. You know it was there at one time. These are just people who are at different stages of their blogging life. Stop thinking you are superior and get over yourself.

2) Don't put down someone because they don't update Every.Single.Fucking.Day. What wuold that prove? That you have no life?? Seriously. If your entries are deep, profound, moving, or else just informative, the need for everyday entries are obsolete. That pisses me off.

3) If links are broken, don't throw a goddamned hissy fit and bitch about how it was just sooo fucking hard to get around and you really should fix those you know because you're just sooo not With It. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, that was someone else's fault and has not come to the attention of the writer? Suppose someone had a diary, and then shut it down, and now the link is broken. If the writer wasn't aware that it was shut down, then don't assume anything about how their butterfingers can't even type a fucking URL correctly.

4) And this is just beign picky. But archived entries piss me off. They really do. Don't require it.

That having been said, I'm thinking of getting my diary reviewed. Curiosity is getting the better of me, as I sit at home thinking, "Gosh, I wonder what other people think of me and the way I write. If I was really vain I would just get reviewed. But I hate those reviewers. But I'm so curious. Aaaggghhh."

Truth is, I'm just having this internal battle: Vanity VS. The Voice Of Reason Screaming In My Head.

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As I predicted last night, Lara Flynn Boyle was in fact on the list of the Worst Dressed at the Golden Globes last night.

Hee-ee-eyy! Hhoo-oo-oo! Yeah, who's good. Teen People will be knocking down my door to join their staff after this.

But it wouldn't have taken a quarter-wit to figure out that you don't fucking dress up like a prima ballerina unless you take fucking ballet and you actually know how to fucking dance.

Oh, I'm sorry. Was that bitter? Really? Sorry.

I get upset at people who think ballet is all about wearing tutus and pretty lace-up shoes. It's a sport. A real fucking sport that takes time adn energy to do well.

Why am I in Bitch Mode this morning?

It was probably all that coffee mixed with the cat mixed with the diary reviewers.

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!