When I finally got around to actually GETTING to school twenty minutes later (thank you, Canal Street traffic!) I stepped out of the car all Halle Berry-ish, and before I got around to the First Flip Of The Hair, I doubled over in the direction of the wind.

Granted, it was only about 37 degrees outside, but this devilish wind chill lashing at me made it about -342342863 degrees.

Now, I didn't exactly feel like shaving my legs last night, as I foresaw I would be wearing a long-ish skirt. However, I didn't realize that suede would stick to the nearly invisble peach fuzz on my legs.

So about every .02 seconds I was picking the suede off my legs and I was begging for some StaticGuard. From anyone. I don't care. I am a desperate fool at the end of my pitiful rope. Give me StaticGuard!!

And as you're probably already guessing, that didn't happen.

So I was stumbling up three flights of stairs, picking at my legs on every other step, thinking "Please, God, just let me die. I'll run naked. Anything. I just hate this skirt. Bond Girls should die for making me think that it was stylish to look like a moron falling on stairs!"

I think that last part was mostly my fault, though.

Aahh...I think I smell a Klutz Rant...

...Yes...it's getting closer...

I am the biggest idiot ever, and it doesn't help that when I wear semi-nice clothes, I end up falling all over myself and my glasses get kicked around in the hall and it makes me late for class! It probably doesn't help that my legs are almost three times as long as a normal person's torso, either! If I were more popular, I would make fun of myself! And when this makes me mad during class, I can't just be quiet and suppress my anger like everybody else. NOOOO! I lash out in a fit of rage and my hair goes flailing all over the place, giving those sitting nearby Hair Lacerations! And after I'm done, I'm red in the face and having trouble breathing and have to excuse myself to go throw up in the bathroom because I'm a DORK! And everyone (with the exception of 99.8% of the senior class) seems to overlook this because in spite of my chronic nerdiness, I was nominated for Winter Formal court!!

Christ.

I think I'm done now.

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Today in Biology we had to get with our lab partner and make up a "Jeopardy" game to present to the class as a review for our test on Wednesday.

The teacher, to whom we affectionately refer to as Mr. Diablo, just uses this as a pathetic excuse that he has no inkling of knowledge about teaching and is really just a college student with an acne problem himself, which is why he subjects us to these kindergarten-like activities, such as "review games" and "privilege cards."

Oh, holy lord, don't even get me started on those Privilege Cards. He says we can only leave class ONCE A MONTH. That includes going to the bathroom. I told him that only Nazis would do something like that, and he does sort of resemble a German, so is there something he is hiding from the class?

Is it only so obvious to me that these "privilege cards" and such elementary things are just a cover-up for the fact that he is bent on world domination?!

But back to the point of this story. Whitney and I are lab partners now, and we created our stupid little game as instructed (though not without much moaning and complaining) and then it came time to combine with another lab group to present it. We were combined with Laura and David, a girl from my dance class and this Korean guy who's insanely smart and screams like a girl.

There was only one chair on our side of the table (Chair Nazis) so me and Whitney were forced to share a chair.

Maybe it's just me being a brat here, but I haaaaate sharing chairs. My ass ends up sliding off and then I fall off and break my head on the floor.

And Whitney, being the headstrong person she is, eventually overtook the chair, while I was holding on pathetically to the table behind me to keep from falling off.

Talk about some burn in my stomach. It was all I could do to keep from falling off, and I think it made me lose about 10 pounds. I ended up lasting most of the class until I felt a small metal spike-ish thing poking me in my spine, causing me to leap forth from the chair in pain. I was so exhausted from holding myself up by one arm that I fell asleep in seventh hour.

Damn those Chair Nazis.

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!