I didn't just go to the basement because I wanted to, heaven's no. I had my "Drama Exam" first thing this morning. If you call an exam lounging around eating sugar and watching "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" on DVD. And then eating more sugar.

That exam was sooo haaard.

But it jut got harder. I'm telling you, this magnet-school business is no joke. My Psycho Gay Geography Teacher(©) was busy selling things with the school emblem on them, such as pajamas, flip-flops and backpacks. While that's fun and all for her, I'm sure...she still had to come back and hand out the test, then promptly leave.

WHAT KIND OF IDIOT JUST LEAVES A ROOMFUL OF FRESHMEN WITH MIDTERMS?!

She does. Because she's Psycho and Gay like that.

So when we actually finish and have handed in our tests after comparing answers with nearby friends, she comes strolling back in and starts bitching about how we're rude. If you say so. But we're not the ones that left us alone with 600-point tests.

Me and Brooke, who are now sitting across from each other in the very back of the classroom because we're slackers like that, are playing poker and passing notes before her very eyes and she doesn't say a damn thing. Probably because every five seconds someone walked in and paid her for something she had held for them from the Sale of Spirited Crap (©).

Here's an excerpt from our conversation:

BROOKE: I think "frugal" is funny and "flourist" is funny, too. Oh my God, I can't wait until tomorrow is over! Wait, "oracle" is funny too. Man, I can't believe we're sitting here thinking of funny words. I can feel my IQ dropping.

ME: That's what I do in my free time anyway. Last year when I was in "Annie", I had to say "tempus is fugiting" and I nearly wet my pants. "Frugal" and "goose" sound like the name of drugs. But one time I nearly died thinking about the words "weasel" and "sucker." Weasel sucker! Ha. I amuse myself.

BROOKE: Sounds like it.

ME: Last week, I took my little sister to my friend's house, and they had a big dog next door, but it was on a leash and behind a fence! But she is deathly afraid of dogs. Just when I was calming her down, she started running away, screaming, and get this: not only did she wet her pants but she crapped them too! I was trying to be nice but it was just so funny. I've never heard of that actually happening to anyone.

BROOKE: That's great! You're so awful.

ME: I know. It's sick entertainment.

Now, just judging from that, do you think we were a bit woozy from boredom?

I think so too.

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I drove to my old school yesterday, Buncha Bullshit Academy. They were between classes, so the eighth graders almost had a hernia when they saw me pulling up. Well, I don't know if it was out of amazement or wheter they were just avoiding getting run over. But either way.

Of course I had to go and update my favorite teacher (the only one with a fully functional brain stem) about Ben Franklin High and how bad I'm doing and she encouraged me, and her class remembered me as "the cheerleader" and I almost died. I told them that I would rather die by being slowly torn apart by mice than being remembered as "the cheerleader."

And they looked at me with their wide, blank eyes, halfway scarred for life at the mental picture of what I had described. And the teacher just doubled over laughing.

Like I said, she's the only one with a fully functionable brain stem. She thinks for herself rather than being subjected to the old-fashioned conservative not to mention RIDICULOUS rules that being a private-school teacher necessarily entails. She laughs when I scar children. That's the beauty of her liberal-ness.

And of course I visited my old homeroom teacher and for one brief shining moment she seemed halfway sane, then she told me that God told her that the former principal who was arrested for child molestation was innocent. That was when all hope for sanity dissolved.

And then when school let out, I made my Big Exit. The Big Exit that I had waited for for eight years in that private-school hellhole: driving off in front of the whole school watching, knowing that I never had to go back.

My life is almost complete after doing that. It just felt so....bad-ass.

Ha.

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!