I usually don't write worthless crap like this, but I really need some stuff this year.

1) Cash. In small bills. I really need some money to hire a hit man to sic my biology teacher, Mr. Manifestation-Of-All-That-Is-Evil. That midterm he gave us today was torture! I was calculating how much of a fall it would take to kill me (or him) if I jumped out of the window, it being on the third floor and all. But come on, Kris. You gotta realize that I'm lazy and don't do my work, and that's where you come in! Have some sympathy, will ya?

2) Icing. With sprinkles.

3) A new play to perform in drama. As you probably know, the one we are doing now, and I believe this is the technical term, sucks ass. Since being cast as an anorexic, I have become a vegetarian and have stuck to my guns, and was told today by a teacher that I looked malnourished and paler than normal. (Duh, lady, I'm frigging albino already, how can you be more pale? But anyway.)

4) Did I mention that money for a hit man already? Can you add a little more to that, because I just remembered that my geometry teacher needs to die, too.

5) Oh, and in my dance class, we're going to competition in a couple of months, and I've been pretty sore lately, can you send along a hunka-hunka-burnin-love or something? I'd really appreciate it.

6) And Mock Trial. You knew I would mention Mock Trial. We're going to a tournament at the end of January and I think I'm going to get so scared I'll soil myself. Put a couple of pairs of underwear in my stocking this year.

Thanks a lot, Santa. I really need all this stuff, even more than the stuff I said last year. I was going to private school then, and didn't need a damn thing. Now I do. You gotta realize that.

Muchos gracias,
Alexa

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!