Dear God.

*cough*

Let death come quickly.

*cough*

Or you could just throw down a couple of lightning bolts and get it over with. Either way.

*cough cough GAG cough GAG PUKE*

It's the worst situation imaginable. Even worse than Justin Timberlake breaking his foot and cancelling all the promotion dates for his new album. (What a pity.) In fact, it's even worse than Michael Jackson throwing a kid out a window. No, this is worse. It has much father-reaching effects that could endanger the morale of mankind.

Are you ready?

.......Are you sure?

Okay. Here goes: I have pneumonia. Again.

I know, I know. You think I am invincible, like some sort of superwoman, untouchable to disease. But nay. You may think I refuse to succumb to Mother Nature's abuses, but sadly no.

I don't think I was keeping this diary the last time I had pneumonia two years ago. It really sucks. If you've never had it, just take my word for it...it kills old people. So it just annoys me a lot.

Well, if you call annoying coughing up random and unidentifiable body fluids to the point where you're lying on the floor in a fetal position praying for death. I woke up on Saturday morning after seeing "Die Another Day" (which was incredible, by the way) and I thought I was dying.

Really.

Anything short of death pretty much hits the mark on this one.

I have wallowed around all day, thinking of ways to avoid going to the doctor, because all he'll do is stick me in some hospital for four days and mess up my Thanksgiving AND make me miss Mock Trial rehearsal tomorrow. I am not going to let this happen. I will drug myself silly on Nyquil. I will get wonky with some Benadryl. I don't care; anything to avoid the doctor.

Unfortunately, if feels like I'm being sprayed with mase every time I cough: a heart attack, a seizure, and vomiting all at once. It's the most awful feeling ever, like my lungs are going to burst out of my chest.

But doctors? NO.

NO NO NO.

Kevin and Jessica are over. Kevin's showing us video that he shot on the set of "Grift," his movie the just wrapped yesterday morning. I finally found out what it's about. It's about this guy that owns a carnival. And it has some guy from "The Godfather" in it, and also some guy from "Sweet Home Alabama," and the girl from "The Count of Monte Christo." So it was pretty funny seeing them in their pajamas and lounging around the set smoking.

Actually, I don't think I'm supposed to tell any of this. He wasn't even supposed to shoot video on the set, but he did anyway. He was the Director's Pet or something equally repulsive. His next project is some Tim Burton movie called "Big Fish."

But I didn't say that either.

If anyone asks, just say that that my mind has been affected by codeine cough syrup and I'm not thinking straight.

Hey, I may be a little on the tipsy side (after all, Nyquil alone contains 25% alcohol), but I am hellbent on this No Doctor thing.

Doctors: NO.

Lots and lots of non-prescription drugs and herbal supplements: YES.

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!