She's in the next room with her motorcycle-riding, beer-slurping, cat-owning boyfriend, Mike. I can hear her saying things and then kissing him.

Have I mentioned that it is the most disgusting thing in the world to hear? Come on, now. It makes this ginormously loud noise like SHHHHLLLUUURRRPPP. Human lip-suction is revolting, if I do say so myself.

Ugh. They did it again.

SSSSHHHHLLLUUURRRPPP.

Stop it.

SSSHHHHLLLLLUUURRRPP.

That's disgusting, Mom.

SSSSHHHLLLUUURRRPPP.

*grabs head and tears out a gigantic chunk of hair before retreating into the safety of an open window*

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So....I went to go watch a football game with some friends today. It was Ye Olde College's kickoff of the season, so naturally, I had to be a good little sportsfan and watch the game.

I was in a gigantic room watching the game on a 352789 x 4538538 TV screen. And I must say, most of the attendees were guys, naturally. But I had come expecting some friends. They arrived. They drank. They bored quickly. They left.

Thanks. Thanks a ton.

I don't understand the madness of football. Apparently, it is believed by some that if you jump out of your chair and scream like a maniac the players will somehow run faster or catch the ball...you know, if they could actually hear you.

Yeah, I'm excited and all, but please...I don't have this inborn instinct that tells me to howl and jump around like a drunken ape.

But I sat there like a good little conformist and didn't say a word.

I fell asleep during the third quarter, but that didn't last long. Someone was jumping around and tackling random objects when he somehow landed on me. That was a very rude awakening, and after that I was spastically twitching for hours and people thought I was going to puke pea soup.

It was lovely.

Seriously, though...all this crazed school spirit must have seeped into the wrong lobe of my brain. I would get really tired when we started to lose (again) and instead of closing my eyelids like a normal domestic homo sapien, my eyes would roll back in my head and I would be sitting there, twitching like a maniac, and they thought I was practically having a seizure.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't feel bad. But when I came to they said they had been trying to talk to me for several minutes, yet I had been unresponsive.

Umm...okay.

Too much crack, I suppose.

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Did I mention that Mark was at the game/party today?

Tee hee.

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The evil SSSSHHHHLLURRRPPP-ing has ceased. Can I get an Amen?

Hallelujah.

I'm going to bed.

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!