Johnny tells us his IQ.

I wonder why people think that their face sags?

"If I look at it long enough, it will move."

Great, it's just what we need: a Britney Spears Mini-Me.

"You think I look like Clint Eastwood? Yeah, I get that a lot."

Newly trained Palestinian border patrol officers debate whether to approach the sinister-looking, unmarked white truck.

"Paparazzi! I smell paparazzi! Quick! Run in front of their truck!" (A few moments later....CRASH!! "Hey, honey, we're having deer meat for dinner!")

"It's the newest fad: rubbing a newborn kitten across your face. I hear it's just like a facial!"

"I don't surf, but thanks anyway!"

"Tripod?? Hmm..."

"Yo, dad, you need to shave."

Great! Now we can feed the entire population of India!

"Look, dad! I really can float! I wasn't just high all the time!" -George W. Bush

"I swear, it's not mine!!"

"I'm not a crook! Oh, crap...that one's already been taken..."

"I got it! I got it!.....I don't got it."

"Billy, you're eating sunflower seeds until you die."

Tommy decided to nonchalantly slip onto the field to help out the Australian rugby team. Unfortunately, he was arrested. We have no idea why.

Little Bobby Jihad was reprimanded by his father after he had been repeatedly told not to drag large boxes into the street.

President Bush gives his invisible friend Gilligan a hug during a recent press conference.

God finally struck down Jerry Springer, answering the prayers of millions of Americans.