And yes, it is also to my disadvantage that his birthday is two days before mine. So my mom is still in full "Mike's birthday" mode and my birthday is tomorrow. Yippee.

After church last night, my mom told me that we were taking Mike out to dinner at a restaurant he likes. She told me it had live music, good food, etc. So I thought it would be cool, right? RIGHT???

Well, we got there and there was about twenty people waiting for us who were also "with the party." Oh, and by this time, the band has set up and testing their microphones VERY loudly. But in the meantime, old guys are doing karaoke nearby. I kind of lose my appetite.

I'm generally very bored because I don't know anyone there.

Oh, and did I mention that this is a roadside barbeque place? Yeah. I think we took a wrong turn and ended up in Retardville, USA. I was surrounded by singing, beer-slurping rednecks who thought that I should be having the time of my life.

"You look so excited," a lady said to me, who was sitting across from me. Spitting at her was my first instinct.

"Don't I look excited?" I said. Hey, she used sarcasm first. That gives me the full right to be sarcastic back to her.

So I order a Coke. The band starts to play. This is when I discover that I am sitting not only right in front of the speakers but also right in front of the drums.

I immediatly cover my ears and tears well up in my eyes because it is just so damn loud. I haven't even ordered my meal yet and I'm miserable.

"She's just being a typical teenager," my mom said to a woman nearby. I looked up and everyone seemed to have the same lunatic grin on their face.

"Typical teenager? Mom, I'm supposed to be the one who enjoys loud music, not you! But I'm sitting here with my fingers in my ears and praying to God to make me deaf!" I scream to my mom, who is sitting just next to me.

But my mom makes this face to eveyrone like, Oh, isn't this just like a teenage girl. She's been touched by the wand of the Teen Rebellion Fairy. It'll blow over any minute. This is so typical of that stupid girl. I'm so sorry she has to put a damper on the party.

And yes, by this time I am so angry at her that I am literally shaking. (Well, that could have been from the beat of the music, but either way, it was bad.) It might have been something else, but I could swear I heard Little Voices talk to me.

And I was vibrating and I was practically bouncing up and down to the beat of the music, not because I wanted to, but because I was sitting right next to the band.

And believe me, I didn't choose to sit there. I originally sat down all the way across the restaurant but my mom insisted that I move. All the other seats were taken.

I grabbed my mom's car keys and bolted. I wrote on a napkin (since it was too hard to hear what we were saying) for her to bring me my food when it was ready and that I'd be in the car. So I go out and start the car.

Of course, my mom parked out in West Bum Fuck Egypt so I'm just sitting there in the dark, away from the lights of the building. I don't think this is at all safe, and I'm getting a little concerned for my personal well-being, so I put the car in reverse and I start to look for a new parking place.

As I back out, it felt like the back tires suddenly fell into a pothole the size of Lake Michegan. So my first instinct is to hit the gas so I can get out of it. Well, it worked, but then the front tires fell in it and I almost hit the cars parked on the other side. So I straighten out and hit the gas again. Well, I practically got flying forward and it feels like I'm running over a thousand Labradors.

But lucky me, a parking place opened up right in front of the restaurant. So I backed up and sailed on in.

About a minute later, the same people came pulling back in and I had already taken their parking space.

Whoops!

I go out and take a look at the tires. Well, half of the car is covered in mud, but oh well. I didn't do any harm.

So my mom brought me my food, promptly had a heart attack because I drove her car and she didn't know and because I don't even have my permit yet, and then I played the radio and read a summer-reading book for two hours.

Fun, eh?

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Cleo, my cat, has been hissing at the kittens since the day they were born.

However, she has obviously progressed past hissing and is now making a noise like she is possesed by some sort of demon.

My mother aptly dubbed it the "Satan Noise."

We now have to put our cat in Time-Out when she makes the Satan Noise. Now she doesn't know why she's being punished because we have to chase her down for five minutes before we can throw her in Time-Out.

The kittens keep pissing on the sofa. I am about to just throw them out and let them fend for themselves. I don't care how cute they are, when they piss on the sofa, I mean business. No more Miss Nice Kitty Lover.

My whole house smells like urine.

It's really gross.

And since it doesn't look like my dad is going to get around to seeing me on my birthday I'll probably be staying in the Urine House. Yeah, well, happy birthday to me.....

Jessica is getting back from Las Vegas today so we're going to go bowling tomorrow night.

Yee-haw, some party, eh?

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!