ME: So, what's up, Unk?
UNK: I want my own skull.
M: That's nice, but why?
U: I don't know. Desk ornament, maybe. You can buy fake skulls but they cost a whole lot of money that I don't have.
M: That sucks. Well, no skull for you.
U: Yeah. Well, I've always just wanted to go to a medical store and buy one breast implant and make a goldfish swim around in it. Then I could put it on my desk and poke it when I get bored.
M: ..................
U: Did I tell you that I taught the small units (my younger brother and sister) to be afraid of the manksmen in the closet?
M: Manksman? What the hell is a manksman?
U: A Manksman is an evil inhabitant of Man Island.
M: So, did it work?
U: Well, they are now afraid of the manksmen in the closet.
M: *wonders if that explains why they are also afraid to flush the toilet, thus stinking up the entire bathroom whilst we have guests*
U: My friend James married an alien SporMold.
M: ................
U: We sent postcards to all his neighbord saying, "Do you know that your neighbor, James, married an alien SporMold?" So he got pissed off at us and so we buried a bunch of dog skulls in his backyard.
M: Yeah....um, I guess that's the equivalent of rolling somebody's house when you're a doctor and a certified genius.
U: You need to be taller.
M: Why?
U: Because I only like tall women. Short people agrravate me.
M: *wonders why he wants me to be taller because of the way he "likes his women." I'm a person, not a steak, for God's sakes!*
U: You also need to have white hair.
M: This visit is over. I'm going home.
U: Okay, bye! Beware the penguins! Oh yeah, and the moose in your backyard! Oh, and also Master Leonard, the giant black goat of Satan and the mascot for the official beer of the apocolypse!

Oy vay.

How am I related to this schitzo?

Oh yeah, that's right, THROUGH MY DAD!!!!!!!

Thanks a ton, Dad.

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!