Great. Now I know why my IQ is forty points higher than theirs.

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I booked a room for a vacation today at the beach. I'm staying at the four-star SHERATON! Hell yeah!

It took me about four hours to find the right hotel. One room, two beds, non-smoking, beachfront view, not ground floor, indoor pool, spa, bar, balcony....the list never ends. So I booked the only hotel who would meet my demands. When I got the map to it, I found out that there was a Hooters practically across the street.

Oh well. Beggars can't be choosers.

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I bought a pack of Vanilla Coke yesterday.

Mmmm....surprisingly good!

They taste like Coke floats. Regular Coke taste, but vanilla ice-cream aftertaste. I thought I saw an ad for Raspberry Coke or something, and when I asked Rene about it, she said I must be smoking some brown acid, or something.

They had Pixie Stix backstage the other night, and we were thinking of creative ways to eat them. I just sat back, watching all the poor fools choking when they try to sniff it.

Then Claire taught us all how to properly inhale pure sugar, a la Pixie Stix. There'a a trick to it, kiddies. It's not as easy as it looks.

So let this be a lesson to all of us: Don't even pretend to do drugs unless you've been instructed by an old pro. It just doesn't work.

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I've had this strange yearning to paint pottery all this week. I think I'm going to call Jessica and Tara tomorrow so we can get together and paint some pottery.

There's this neat-o little shop downtown called Pottery Works, where you buy pieces or unglazed pottery, and then you pick your palette and then you paint the pottery yourself. I know it doesn't sound exhilarating, but the atmosphere is most of the fun. It's this artsy little college hangout place. It's painted in primary colors and you can paint your name on one of the walls.

So after you're done painting, you leave your pottery there for a day or two while they glaze it,then you come and pick it up.

Fun, eh?

I painted the cutest little sugar bowl and picture frame, but I had to redo the sugar bowl because I dropped it the second I got it home.

Oh, agony...

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Yesterday, while I was over at my friend Mike's house barbequing (sp?), he opened the lid to the grill and the most humongous rat you've ever seen stared him straight in the face.

A rat.

A big rat.

I don't function well with big rats around.

So, out of instinct, I threw lighter fluid on the grill and threw a match in. It flamed up, and the rat just crawled to the side, apparently not believing that I was ready to flame-grill his ugly rat ass.

So I poured more lighter fluid on and threw about three matches in. The whole thing almost exploded, but you bet that that rat got out of there, fast. It climbed up a nearby tree, and that's okay, because it's not like it my house anyway.

I get a little insane when beady-eyed rodents are having a shit all over my barbeque. I have visions of little rats on rotisseries dancing in my head that won't go away until the little buggers are DEAD.

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I pondered yesterday how absolutely cool it would be to have Tourettes syndrome. I had a friend that had it, and he would stand up in the middlle of class and hump his desk and stuff. This would usually involve his spattering out of things like, "DEEEEEEE!!!!!" and "FATBITCH!" and "ssssshhhhhIIIIITT!!!"

God bless you, Reed. You told out teachers everything that we were afraid to, and you had an excuse.

Sometimes I wish I were that lucky.

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Well, I've got to go stop by Blockbuster and the pizza place before I go home (I'm at school with my mom, helpig her in her classroom) so I'd better get a head start so I can beat the traffic.

I better start warming up my middle finger now...

© alexa

The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!