There is one major, major scene change after the very first scene. And get this: they're making the cast move the flats!

If you are not a theater person, let me explain some things really quick. I'm not being condescending, but you need to understand a few things before you can imagine the Torture. A flat is a giant piece of wood that is part of the set. They are each very heavy and incredible hard for two teenage girls to move, especially when it has to be done in under a minute.

Now. Since you know that, you'll understand what unimaginable, unconstitutional torture I suffered last night. Me and Rene have to move two flats in this particular scene shift, and the entire thing has to be done in under a minute.

Wait, though. Let me back up. Before I knew of the back pain I would suffer for days, I was innocently enough putting on my makeup backstage with Brooke, laughing at how the crew was going to be in hell moving that set in the dark. Shit. I think God heard me, snickered for awhile, and beamed down into the Scratchmaster's mind and give him the idea to make the cast move flats. I knew I should have brought him that bottle of Gold Bond to calm his nerves. He was scratching the whole time he choreographed the shift.

(I call him Scratchmaster because he has the unexplainable urge to scratch his crotch every three seconds. It's really disgusting. Then, one day at rehearsal, he bent over to get something, and Tara pointed out to me that she didn't see an underwear line. Ever since then, I've made a point to stay a clear five feet away from him at all times. Now you understand what I mean when I say that this is a twisted, twisted man.)

After the Scene Change Of Satan, I continued putting on my makeup which had melted off during the course of Moving The Flats From Hell. (Have you noticed that everything at this theater is "from hell"? You'd think I'd have the good sense to stay away from it after I had experienced some of the hellacious happenings, but no such luck.)

I discovered my crash box, which provides the sound effect for when I am supposed to break a vase offstage. I scared the shit out of everybody nearby when I became overwhelmed with glee and dropped the crash box, filled with glass and porcelain, from above my head to the floor. The entire theater was silent. Everybody who heard it, I think, was busy crapping their pants. I think the director is ready to fire me. I just stood there, grinning like Satan. I am now referred to affectionately as Devil-Giggle and BangGirl. The whole thing was funnier than demons on crack. You just had to be there.

Did I mention that The Scratchmaster has a very loud, annoying laugh? I have a lot of laugh lines, so he was out there laughing and scratching away. I couldn't keep a straight face! I was ready to follow him home and murder him while he slept. Before I killed him, of course, I would make a point to cut off his....

Well, you know.

Damn. That would be hilarious if he woke up right before I did it, too.

Well, we have a full dress rehearsal tonight, with timed costume changes and the Scene Change of Satan. Hopefully, my dresses will me fixed, hemmed, and taken in and all that crap by now. Ugh...I just remembered the Costume From Hell.

Eww. I'm trying to block that horrible memory forever, but it's just not working. Like I said before, *sigh* some people know not the True Evil of Tulle. (plug: to see the Costume From Hell and other stuff, click here.)

I'll write tonight after what will probably be dubbed the Dress Rehearsal Of The Devil.

Great. I have a lot to look forward to.

P.S. Kneehumpers!! I've been wanting to say that ever since I read it in Uncle Bob's diary!

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The counter keeps breaking and pissing me off, so NO MORE COUNTER! Mwahaha!